“Good. As much as life is unpredictable, it can be predicable too. And I predict that you will be okay, LIKE YOU HAVE ALWAYS BEEN.”
To say I never want to look back and regret is ambitious. I know I will. However, that is expected. Regret is no longer a surprise to me, neither is disappointment, (perceived) failure, or any anti-climax I experience.
I can’t figure out if that is making me more intuitive, or simply numb to the storms of life. But whatever.
Looking back is special to me because it has brought me calm, clarity and acceptance.
I’ve written about it countless times before; at this point it’s a regurgitation of a well-known fact to me. But I keep on saying it because it means everything.
Hindsight is important because it presents this truth to you:
Everything will be okay, it always has been, it is, and it always will be. Your past present and future are covered, because you have survived everything you have ever been through, and you will continue to do so. You have to believe this.
In light of this truth, you should allow yourself to feel peace.
But, I am not naïve. I accept the fact that life sometimes disappoints. Yet that is the least of my worries nowadays, and I thank God for that.
It goes beyond the scope of learning from my mistakes. It’s the simple acceptance that life will do what it wants. Sometimes that’s what we want, and other times it isn’t. I just believe we should accept whatever happens.
Afterall, for something to “happen” is what is expected. “Happening” is neutral, it’s just a fact. How we interact with this fact is what’s most important.
Life happens and happens and happens – it’s been happening, yet it’s been fine.
Dare I say that in retrospect, I didn’t need to worry as much as I ever did? Nerves and anxiety are normal of course, but the fact that things turn out fine in the long run (no matter how long the run is) is a bit more of a reason to relax now, when current “happenings” are worrying and plaguing my mind.
“Wasn’t everything okay last time Adefela?” I ask myself. To which I answer yes, it was.
“Good. As much as life is unpredictable, it can be predicable too. And I predict that you will be okay, like you always have been.”
Put your name there.
That’s the conversation I should have with myself now. The blessing of hindsight is in my possession. I will use whatever it takes to remind myself of that, and to calm myself when I feel like this “happening” may just kill me. It probably won’t.
I nod my head thinking, good, I’ll keep on trying. And I thank God for the reassurance of everything being fine.