Feeling Pessimistic
1 park, 3 conversations
“peace”
Russel Square. Some nice shops there. I considered what it means to be rich and the responsibility that someone who wasn’t born into wealth but eventually acquired it has towards helping the deprived communities they grew up in.
Things often feel very shallow and I want no part of it. However I know that I play into many stereotypes and sometimes this is knowingly. Truly, how true are you to yourself?
We are all some degree of hypocritical but how much do we fight it? Is it a must to fight in the first place? How much should we work against natural human inclination?
#21
I turned 21 on Thursday and had a fabulous day! Let’s see what life has in store for me from this point onwards…
I’m a YouTuber!
Today I started my YouTube channel and posted my first video. The main thing holding me back from doing this (for years) is my tendency to get caught up in small things like numbers.
Subscribers, views and likes are often an unfortunate depiction of validation and approval, so when such numbers are low it takes a toll on my confidence.
I don’t want the world to potentially see that no one cares about what I’m doing! It calls the relevance of my actions into question, even though this shouldn’t be the case. Ideally, I should be doing things for myself and not for approval!
Nonetheless, the channel has been launched. I need to focus on making videos, something I really enjoy doing. And I need to have fun with it because fun is what got me here in the first place.
Anyway in true youtuber fashion, here’s the link to my channel and my first video!:
“WLM”
On Thursday I went outside for the first time in a long time. I was riding my bike and circled back when I saw this picture.
Resistance to the presence of black people exists even in the spaces where we feel or appear predominant (though it’s hardly the case). In this instance, it’s Dagenham. So many white people will keep fighting until they ‘Get their Britain back’.
In conversation with Adanna Hannah: On Black Trauma
Check out our conversation on her amazing blog!: https://smithadachi.co.uk/2020/06/01/activism-is-being-active-on-black-trauma-with-adefela-olowoselu/
the Greenhouse Deptford
My Dad and I went for a drive (breaking my 12-week shielding) and we drove past a coffee shop that I visited with my sister some months ago. Most employees were actors who worked here as side jobs. I wondered how they’re currently doing.
1st Class Dissertation!
Some Variables 