“It was like a lifetime passed right through my fingers, so long ago, so much that I didn’t know. Kinda like a light shined down and showed me how to move on; that was then, and this is now.”
Sometimes I just don’t feel like functioning anymore. Life can break me down, and I believe the only solution is to go into repairs, to take some time out to recover. I should stop treating my time as a free for all and listen to my body when it says it’s tired. I recognise that being able to stop and breathe is a privilege, unfortunately. But stillness is an ongoing battle, and hopefully this realisation will bring me closer to it.
Deeper by Israel Houghton repeats the line, ‘break my heart with the things that break your heart‘. I now understand that to have my heart broken by the same things as God is to see things the way He does. I pray that translates into knowing that everything will be okay because He knows this is true, loving myself as much as He loves me, and believing in myself as much as He believes in me. For He knows the plans, for all things work together. Another line; ‘I wanna see through your eyes‘. I pray to see life through the God-lens from now on.
I have little to say besides this. The line has been in my head for a while but nothing explicit has emerged from it. I often look forward to the next chapter but I felt a lot of fear when I began the one I’m currently in. I’m trying to remind myself of the “beauty” in unpredictability. That’s hard when you’re being challenged daily – it doesn’t look beautiful, it looks scary.
A tutorial – it speaks for itself! The brightest hair I’ve ever done, and I’m warming to it more every day. Wondering what colour I should try out next. Enjoy!