Maybe I’m just tired

My head’s been hot for so long
and I’ve been waiting for the cold to seep in
But now that it’s here I’m reminded
of what I ran away from.

I’ve spent so long running from what I could feel
that running is what I feel to run from too…

But maybe I’m just tired.

Oh what if the sun is down when I wake up
And the blinds are too low
And I don’t want to move
And I think of all my affections…

Maybe I’m just scared.

but I don’t know how to fight this fear
even with God on my side

I should be honest with myself.

I fear the emptiness I’ve been running from
has been inside me all along
The base feelings I’ve been taking about
and the Malibu at the bottom of my cup

I’ve just been distracting myself
from who I really am
and that’s quite hard to deal with…

But maybe I’m just tired.