I’m living like a teenager again (with experience).

My twenties look to me, like they will be full of opportunities and a call to live my life as if it has just begun, because it has.


When I reflect on what I was like as a teenager, I see everything I wish I did differently. I see the times where I should have tried harder and when I should have cared less. I see the things that I allowed to affect my confidence and the things I wish I were brave enough to do.

Funnily enough, I also hear a lot from people in their 30s and upwards, reminiscing on their twenties in the same way that I reminisce on my teens. They say things from ‘I was a mess, I had no clue what I was doing.’ to ‘I wish I realised that my decisions weren’t doomed to be set in stone. I wish I worried less, I wish I realised just how young I was.’

I’ve recently put two and two together and I feel like I’ve cracked some sort of code. What is stopping me from treating my twenties like my teens with experience? Here, I have the benefit of vicarious reinforcement mixed with my personal experiences. This realisation feels like a second chance to live as young as I still am, with the freedom I wish I had when I was a teenager. It’s time to turn my ‘I wish I…’ to ‘I will now, because I still have a chance.’

My twenties look to me, like they will be full of opportunities and a call to live my life as if it has just begun, because it has.

I will be 30 years old in nine years’ time. And I will use those nine years to live more fearlessly than I ever did when I was a teenager. And when I turn 30, there will remain so much more life for me to live.

I will not let the fear of how others will perceive or interact with me and anything I produce, to stop me from following my heart with whatever it is that I create. I will not hold myself back in fear and I will not allow hesitation at the sight of the unknown to transform into stagnancy and never giving anything a try.

I will start things and lay them to rest whenever I feel the need to do so, because doing so is not the end of the world. That’s something I learnt in my teens. I will try my hardest to disallow anxiety from ruling my life. That’s something I’ve learnt from those who are older than me. I won’t have a fear of the future because every moment I live is the future and I have always been fine, despite not knowing what any day holds for me.

How blessed are we to have the gift of retrospect mixed with that of vicarious reinforcement! Those who are older are advising me and I am advising myself. In doing so, I am paving a life that is full of endless possibilities, one where I will no longer hold myself back, and where I can continue living a time in my life that I thought was long gone. It’s here right now, it never went anywhere.

I must continue telling myself that my decisions are the beginning rather than the end. I’m not scared of making mistakes. Despite how regret makes me feel when I feel it, I would prefer that feeling to the numbing question of what if.

I have allowed myself to see too many things as final and it’s put obstacles in my path. So, if I am the only person that has ever held me back, I am going to get out of the way!

Are you in your own way?

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: