I’m new to this

I will also never stop believing that my living right now is a testament for my future


I made this blog in 2016 and the home page has had the same message since the day I wrote it, which tells me that my intentions for this platform remain true to 16-year-old Adefela.

However, lately I have been inconsistent because I am trying to figure out how to run a blog in the way that I believe it should be run. I aim to be consistent and honest with myself, as I sort out my current fixations.

This post is categorised as ‘Weekly posts’ because that’s what I’ve planned to do; whether I have nobody reading the posts or I receive 100 views per post, it’s important to stick to what I have decided to do.

Last week I posted nothing because I didn’t make it a priority and I already felt like there was nothing to say. That’s also how I’ve felt this week, hence the post up to this point being a load of waffle.

Despite this, there is one thing I am learning (and have been learning for some time now):

Discipline trumps motivation.

It always has and it always will. I need to get into the habit of training myself to do what is best for me even when I don’t feel like it. Yes, I must be careful to not turn myself into a machine. But I must also be sure to add value to myself on the days when all I feel like doing is nothing.

I want to exercise because it’s good for me, not because I feel like it. I want to read my Bible daily because it strengthens my relationship with God, not because Religion has told me to do so. I want to contribute to a good future because that’s the only certainty I have right now, not because I have a fear of failure.

I am new to self-induced schedules like publishing a blog post and a picture every week. But my life needs structure and I don’t have an education system to give that to me anymore. It’s tough having to do things like that in the midst of a pandemic but that’s something I’m going to have to get over and make small in my eyes.

I will never stop believing that it’s okay to have off days, weeks, months…

But at the same time, I will also never stop believing that my living right now is a testament for my future, and I need to utilise my living breath to make the most of the idea of reaping every single thing that I sow.  

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