Deep in my heart, the answer, it was in me. And I made up my mind to define my own destiny.
***
The lyrics above come from The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill. They are words that have remained with me since I first heard the song. I think something deep inside me knew they held a great meaning for my life, because as time grows I’ve come to really understand what it means for my answers to be inside of me – inside all of us.
I haven’t always enjoyed conceptual problem-solving. Practical answers are the easiest to execute right? So when faced with a dilemma, be it moral, spiritual or abstract, hearing that I know the answer, and that it’s already inside me can feel so useless. Surely if the answer was inside me it would be clear? But the resonance of this song invites me to see things in a different way.
How do we relocate answers?
To find the answer that has been inside you all along, you need to think back to signs you may have missed. Questions you are scared to ask. Feelings that keep coming back to you.
Some answers came the day the questions formed, but they felt too obvious. Surely the solution must be more complicated than that? Or instead, an answer may have been quick to arrive, yet huge – too huge to comprehend how to put it into action. Some answers we received and immediately ignored. We pushed them down with doubt. Surely this isn’t my truth? Some answers are simply what we don’t want to hear or accept, because it means starting again instead of continuing to “waste” time.
Regardless of their nature, answers come to us in seeds that get planted inside. And I don’t think they go anywhere. No matter how soon they arrive, we must understand that the key to many of our problems lies in self-honestly with what we have already realised, self-assessment of what we may be in denial of, confronting truths and equipping ourselves to bring things to life. Then we can embark on the journey that our answers point us towards.
Lauryn goes on to say she made up her mind to define her own destiny. This also sticks with me because it makes me believe that once I find the answer that was in me all along, I can carve out my own authentic path and destiny. Only I have the power to do that in my life – no one else. That’s what’s best for me.
There may be a situation in your mind as you read this. I definitely have something in mind. But to be honest there doesn’t even have to be; the fact remains that answers are inside you regardless. But for anyone that has had something come to mind while reading this, may I invite you to accept that you already know what the answer is? What does it feel like to tell yourself this – that you already know what needs to be done? You know what you have doubted or what you have ignored. You know what seemed too simple, complicated or impossible. Regardless, it could be the solution to what you are mulling over.
Cornwall
I visited Cornwall for my 27th birthday and had the time of my life. For a few years now I’ve wanted to spend a birthday down there. I felt a pull inside me to see what that pocket of the world is like. But I put it off because I didn’t want to plan it, because it’s a six-hour drive away, because it may not even be that special. Yet if you asked me how I wanted to celebrate my special day, Cornwall would always come to mind. Eventually I bit the bullet and pursued the adventure because there was no other answer for me. I couldn’t pretend I only wanted to do a birthday dinner when deep down I really wanted to be down there on the beach!
Could it be that the sooner you accept the answer inside you, the quicker you can get moving?
Is there something that keeps coming to your mind? Is there a question you respond to with the same answer knowing there’s a different answer that is truer? Do you feel stagnant? Will you consider addressing your answer and seeing how movement can come to fruition? I even believe that once you accept answers, life provides resources to make them valid, actionable and easy to work with. But we have to look inside first.
I felt so free, happy and alive in Cornwall. I truly believe that God placed it on my heart to visit and see what happens when you pay attention to what makes your heart leap. Even if it’s based off a video you saw or good things you’ve heard. I drove there with the best company I could ask for and felt at ease. The beaches were beautiful, the food was tasty and the nature left me speechless. I wasn’t worrying about anything. This daunting trip was made possible because I accepted that I did want to go there. Now I look back and it was light work.
Your answer may fulfil you. it may also lead you to ripping things apart and rebuilding. Whichever way it goes, its still the best way to move forward.
So now, I feel motivated to be honest with myself about particular answers I have been searching for. I know they are inside me. This message wouldn’t be so etched on my heart if they weren’t. I have a big task to face and the answer that I know is inside of me will point me in the right direction.
What’s yours?
Some Variables 